It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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