Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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