I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
