garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
