this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
