kristin has been a bad kristin
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
