It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
