i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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