I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
