this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize