He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
