do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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