i just wanna soil my oats bro
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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