Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
