we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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