i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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