Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize