well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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