No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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