You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
