I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
