he thought i was a dude.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You made out with two different species that night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
