Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
