I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sex in a hospital.. check
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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