i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
