I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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