One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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