just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
