Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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