he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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