margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
