He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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