Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
