For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
