I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
