so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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