can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
please don't ironically join a cult
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