we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
