sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
