stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
