yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
