ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
