did you get engaged???
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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