I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
