This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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