I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
