I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
