i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
