you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
