we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize