Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
