come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
