hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
