We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
