I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
