she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
