yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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