carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
