dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
