She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
