he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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